Wednesday, May 09, 2007
muscle ache.
but i don't care le.
i'm going to train and choing for 2.4
12min!
>.<
i HOPE i can make it.
apparently i'm super unfit now.
as compared to last yr
situps deprove by 2
inclined deprove by 9 =.=
shuttle run deprove by 0.5sec.
jumps improve by 3cm. seriously last yr jumps sucks lah. jump like jellybean =.=
sit and reach, no idea.
oh yes.
val is a jelly bean.
HAHA, like the neopets that game that one.
thats how she jumps :D
i dont jump like her okay.
oh myy,
the whole chinese lecture had 61 slides.
val and i talked through the whole thing.
how nice.
my homework is really dying.
noether qn (1).
math corrections (2).
physics prac (3).
ws 8.2 (9qn).
IH concept developement.
i'm so SO dead.
and must write chinese report, and huo dong thing by end of this term.
term 3 got IH issue 3, physics presentation, chem presentation, LA presentation, math noether thing, chinese presentation, appassionata XI...
ohmy i can't even remember lahhhhhhhhhh.
i'm DEAD.
severe muscle ache doesn't help.
i shall not talk or laugh during band tomorrow.
I CAN MAKE IT OKAY, kexin.
don't talk to me can already.
sometimes i feel like screaming at you, telling you that you're not the only one.
we're all stressed, tensed up.
we're all time bombs waiting to explode.
we're all highly explosive and violent.
i know we are selfish, we are fish mongers.
POINT IS. can you please look at the bigger picture.
you do realise that there people worse off than you.
forget it, you wouldn't understand.
i'm hopeless.
1 and half hours on 2 PAGES.
and its not even NEAR perfect.
my merit is GONE.
and i realise that my goals are getting lower lower by day.
distinction to merit.
A to B.
a 12min to a 14min.
75% to 70% to 65% to 60%. soon it will be 50%
from handing in quality work on time,
to just scraping that deadline with low quality work.
from studying for quizes, to a can't-be-bothered-with-it-attitude.
from doing my essays properly, to doing it within an hour, and trying to get past it.
seriously,
i'm just so accustomed to failing that i don't care any more.
i utterly disgust myself.
miracles only happen when you work for them.
dreams only come true if they are realistic, and hardwork is put in.
childhood fantasies don't come true anymore.
its the real deal.
and suddenly i realise i'm alot like you.
i expect things to be there, when i don't work for them.
self centered, world revolved around me, attitude.
we're both fishmongers.
i know someone has said that,
you have to be selfish in life.
i've been told that many times.
yes i know i'm selfish.
you don't have to go to that extent to suan me.
to emphasize the fact that i probably can't make it to jc.
to emphasize the fact that i'm selfish.
thanks.
but i haven't woken up.
i haven't changed.
i don't let you decide for me,
what i want to be.
sometimes i could just cry out of pure frustration.
6:23 PM